anyway, as i tried on a pair of pants and found myself spinning around checking how my butt looks from every angle, i realized that i really do have that girly shopping gene in me. i've just been repressing it due to my state of being cash-less.

i didn't spend everything on myself though. i'm nice and bought my brother stuff. lots of stuff actually, almost as much as my stash. i'm nice that way.

once he loses weight i'll take him shopping again.

i don't think i'll be shopping anytime soon though. it's exhausting, all that walking around, trying on shirts and pants, lugging all the shopping bags around...not fun, especially when there's a stupid crowd in your way. punch all their faces.

school started on monday and so far i don't like it. i really don't like having to go to school, i rather stay home and sleep. i barely felt the sem break and now here i am back in the whole mess of paper writing and endless readings.

i think i'm coming down with something.
sniff. sniff. sneeze.

paolo told me that i'm his best friend and that he'll always be there loving me even if the rest of the world doesn't care about me. that is why i still adore him. it is very hard to find a guy who bothers to love me. i'm not very lovable, too many nonsense to deal with.

he left my party early with his childhood love, so he sucks.
i'm not jealous, i just wish i left with someone too...heh
(not to have sex, but to make silly small talk that gets nowhere)

but i really am incapable of relationships, not just the silly bf/gf relationship but also the whole messy friendship bit, so i really shouldn't think too much about it.

you see, i don't make friends easily, mostly because i really can't be bothered to. i like staying in my own head. i'm socially-sensitive. this supposed novel i'm working on plays with the idea of the main character being socially-sensitive, like how one is sensitive to the sun. i won't elaborate because i don't want anyone stealing my train of thought.